The “Home Guards"

            Rev. Mr.—, a man about six feet four in his stockings, and of proportions worthy a grenadier, and whose heart is as stout as his frame, a thorough Union man, and in for the war until all treason is thoroughly crushed out, was recently conducting a religious conference meeting, when a brother arose to speak, who, after alluding to his hopes and fears in a religious point of view, branched out in reference to the state of the country, saying that so great was his devotion to the Stars and Stripes, .that he had enlisted ; and, after a few further patriotic remarks, begged an interest in the prayers of the church, that he might be protected by Divine Providence on the field of battle, and that should he fall a victim to the bullets of the enemy, he might be prepared for the change.

            Such a speech at any time would thrill with patriotic fervor the brave heart of the worthy minister, and he consequently spoke a few words of encouragement to the hero, when the wife of the enlisting brother volunteered her experience, in the course of which, alluding to her husband's enlistment, she expressed a willingness to give him up, even unto death, in the service of his country.

            In a few moments after, the meeting came to an end, when the minister, all anxiety for the welfare of the patriot volunteer, proceeded to make some inquiries in reference to his regiment, commencing with the very natural question as to its name and number, when be received the startling reply:

            “I've jined the Home GUARDS!"

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